In our youth we lived to the fullest without a care in the world or knowing the outcome, instantaneously creating our own reality with a single thought. When we fail to think things through, in accordance to societal law, we open ourselves up to punishment. For example, a youth may choose to go for a joy ride, but didn’t think of the consequence when he stole someone else’s automobile or when a youth decides to test the boundary waters and swims too far. Either of these will face punishment of some sort, whether it is legal judgment or physical limitations. How would they youth know their limitations without pushing the limitations of reality?
This brings us to a valid question: Are we born to test the boundary waters? Why? We are here to co-create our own reality without full understanding of how to achieve it. By testing the boundaries of limitations, we in essence redefine our boundaries with potential re-creation of our own realities. There are obvious limitations within the confines of our legal system and should not be broken unless willing to accept the penalties for breaking such laws. Similarly, we can choose to take life to the extreme, remain within the confines of our judicial system, but still open ourselves up to physical limitations. Those willing to go to such extremes are true genius for expanding their boundaries in the first place. There are many examples of limitations. Back when I was a young BMX racer, the limit for flips was one flip mid-air, now those limitations have been expanded to three flips mid-air while on the bicycle. Check it out on YouTube for yourself. Another example is walking on hot coals, many people pay top dollar to transform their thinking and walk over hot coals. Mind over matter is what this demonstrates and is attainable by all.
As we get older, we redefine our boundaries. Through marriage we assume boundaries in collaboration with our spouse and through parenthood we assume boundaries through the confines of parenthood. In marriage the boundaries are not to be thought of as a weight or a “ball and chain,” weighing us down or holding us back, instead as a new reality that needs to be redefined. It is possible to maintain the genius of co-creating our lives, but we have to remain mindful of tohers: child or spouse. Our actions as a spouse or parent can ultimately bring judgment on ourselves, but pain can be inflicted on our loved-ones. During parenthood our boundaries ultimately affect our children. Have you ever thought of creating a relationship with your child, that breathes collaboration? I know as a parent we are to guide them and when necessary lay down the law. This law can be abused and often exercised way too often. Our own agendas are often “interrupted” and we get agitated, resulting in raising our voice or scolding the child for causing a disruption in our agenda. This is our job, they are our job. Let me repeat that…They are our job. This means we are to guide them and maintain calmness in all areas of parenthood. If not they will only imitate what they are taught and will continue the cycle of “laying down the law.” Our thoughts and dreams can ultimately change another’s dream.
We can motivate another into succeeding or failing in their goals. Let them define their reality and you define yours.
Once we come to the crossroads of understanding boundaries, we can systematically change them with intentions of maintaining balance among our families. We can choose to vicariously wonder in life, making choices that brings negativity towards the family or we can choose a more positive approach and maintain peace among family. The fastest way to our destination is not always the best. It has been documented that a ‘quicker’ way to bringing order is laying down the law. While the quickest, it may have a negative impact on the self and others. Negative impact only creates more negative impact in our lives. The true way of attaining our goal is through time and energy. Through a methodical approach we obtain our goals without bringing negative impact on our families. Through energy or “elbow grease” we can taste the fruits of our labors. The key is to change our belief system within to obtain a new belief system in the outer world. When I was younger we used to play a poker game called “change it.” Seven cards are dealt and the wild cards determined in the beginning of the hand, but the reality changed anytime a pair appeared face up on the table by changing the wild card. The game changed continuously and anyone who folded early lost without ever knowing their fate from a losing hand to a winning hand. It is through awareness of our thoughts, our actions and our realities that we define our ability to co-create. Thich Nhat Hanh refers to this as mindfulness and teaches people how to be more mindful in their daily lives, by doing so they rejuvenate their ability to co-creation.
Sift through the dirt to find the treasure…and if it is going in a direction of negativity then call “Change It,” creating a new reality.