Illusion of Self


There comes a time in everyone’s life, when a self-evaluation takes place. We recall our earlier years within the morning of our life, not necessarily accepting where we have traveled or what we have done. As we look back, we choose to move forward in a different direction. A direction that leads us to our purpose. What is that purpose? Only we have that answer.

The truth is we have lived our whole life on auto-pilot, never really paying attention to the details of life…only taking them for granted. It is time to reclaim our lives, it is time to make the change. Making the change, we see for the very first time.

Accepting Your Path

We all come to a point in our lives…a point of self-reflection…where we have gone and what we’ve contributed in life. It is the transition everyone must go through, taking us from the morning of our lives…to the afternoon of our lives. Carl Jung often referred to this as the shift into the afternoon of our lives. Those who transition find happiness and live happily ever after, but those who do not…go on miserably.

The mid-life crisis is labeled  for such an event.  A time when we must change the way we see things in life, letting go of our past experiences and what we have already learned. In letting go we lighten the load, as we embark on a new beginning of our lives. Again…those who make the shift, find happiness. Those who do not let go of the past will continue a “living death.” A living death is where we take up space, breathing in air, while slowly decaying away.

As long as we are green we are growing. Yellow, we are a dying fellow. Brown…we are down.

~Cal (at 5 years of age)

Shifting into the afternoon of our lives we instinctively look to fulfill a purpose, a purpose that many struggle to find. Sages, gurus, yogis and other enlightened beings often say we must “go within” to find our purpose. The formula for finding our purpose is so simple that many will shun the idea. Is there a yearning to do something wonderful within this lifetime? Is there an idea to explore since childhood? Chances are this is the answer we are looking for.

The dilemma comes with societal conditioning. We have been conditioned to think we need to make more money, needing to have a “real job,” or have a respected place in society. We can do this, running the risk of sacrificing our happiness or we can focus our intent on our happiness, running the risk of sacrificing our monetary returns. Chances are that the latter will not occur, for when we are driven by our passion of what we love to do…money will become natural. Do we focus on the money or the happiness? It is possible to have both, but remain focused on the happiness or quality of life.  Chances are…if you love what you do, you will profit by your success.

If, while making the shift, happiness is not present, then it is time for a change. Change towards happiness is always a good idea…make it now. Making the leap from the inactive side of infinity to the active side of infinity, our world becomes clearer, easier, and blissful. Synchronicity becomes more prevalent in our daily activities and ‘aha’ moments the same. Taking this leap may require a bit of labor and maybe even a bit of faith. Do you know of someone who has made a significant change in life, while going against the grain to what everyone else suggested they do? These are the Warriors who decide once and for all, it is time to be happy. Everything on the line, they take the leap.

Once a man has made a commitment to a way of life, he puts the greatest strength in the world behind him. It’s something we call Heart power. Once a man has made the commitment, nothing will stop him short of success. ~Vince Lombardi

We return now to a lesson from Ani Po…

Pondering the thought of standing firmly in Her beliefs, Ani Po reflects on the changes that she has made in Her life. From pilgrim to Warrior, with a single thought…Her life changes for ever. Realizing that She has stepped onto the path of Warrior, She knows She can never go back to the way it was.

With further reflection, She recalls a friend who is currently transitioning to the afterlife.

Now in hospice care the family says, ”He has suddenly become ill.” Ani Po knows differently and has known that he has been dying for some time. While we are all dying, this gentleman gave up on living about ten years ago and followed a path of darkness. Ani Po, for years, tried to get him to see Light but no success.

Ani Po: ”Why are you always so negative? Can’t you find positive in any given situation?”

Friend: ”No. I see things as they are and it isn’t always pretty.”

Ani Po: ”If you cannot find good in any given situation, then you are already dead.  Sadly, we think that things are horrible and that is the only reality we’ve ever known. Have you ever read The Death of Ivan Illych?”

”No Ani Po.”

”I would highly recommend it.”

What if my whole life was wrong? ~Ivan Illych

While Ani Po is saddened by Her friends health options, She respects Her friends decision to die, knowing that maybe this is how her friend chose to live his life…alone till the bitter end. The truth is that our world is a mirror image of how we see ourselves. If we are inspired and feel alive, then we go on living as such. If we feel the world has fallen around us, then we slowly decay until we reach death. We all have a choice to believe in negativity or positivity. One promises growth, the other death. While death is eminent, we do not have to leave this place in misery.

Stepping into the Canvas with indomitable spirit.  The only person who can conquer you is yourself. When someone brings negativity towards you, turn up the positivity. Step with confidence today knowing that your afternoon has arrived and it is about to get a lot Brighter. You are a Warrior and you are no longer afraid…

Finding Light Within The Darkness

We cannot understand up without defining down; right and left; in and out. Similarly it is the Darkness that often shows us the Light. Within our own Darkness Shines a Light of Hope. This is not duality but a whole…as one cannot exist without the other. Stepping into the Canvas, there is always potential for Light within the Darkness…

Whatever ones given situation presents, a possibility to see only the lighter side of things is at hand.  Even death, as saddening as it may be, there is always good to be found whilst not always easy to find. See the silver-lining in every cloud and paradise shall be yours. Caution: people will also accuse you of being crazy or even delusional. Simply ask them how their life is…and then ask them how that is going. It is time to try something new.

The majority of people live under one giant bell-curve, following the rest of the people while spinning their wheels on how to get out of the bell-curve. The goods news…we are not in this curve…we are on the outskirts of this bell-curve and possibly even shifting the curve! Dare to shift the bell-curve towards the Lighter Side of Infinity…allowing others to get just one more glimpse of Hope for all Humanity…leaving victim mentality behind forever.

There is a scientific study which proves the victim mentality. If we fill a bucket full of crabs, they will settle to the bottom. Once they are trapped within their confines of the bucket, one crab will attempt to get out. The saddening effect is when the other crabs are in acceptance of their misery and pull the crab, who attempts to escape, back into the bucket of misery. Similarly as humans, there are those who think differently and attempt to get out of the bucket of misery…only to be pulled back in. Stay strong…for they no longer have a grip on our actions.

Stepping into the Canvas in Darkness. Allow yourself to travel in darkness, closing your eyes to that around you. Entering the sacred space within, we see a flickering Light waiting to shine. This is the Light of Hope that will Light the way in darkened times. Be still, embrace the darkness only for moment…Now grasp the Light, allowing it to brighten the days ahead…Love, Light and Life.

This Is The Day Your Life Will Surely Change

Ever wonder what your purpose is? Ever wonder what You are supposed to do with your life? Have you taken the time to pamper yourself? Have your taken the time to just be still? All of these questions shall be answered…if only we took time to be present. Being present, sight becomes clearer. Being present, speech becomes softer. Being present, lends an attentive ear…

Stepping into the Canvas the wind called my name…“Ani Po”

wind calls my name

This is the day

Your life will surely change.

What you do with every breath, Every step,

Will determine tomorrow. It may not come,

But continue forward.

Your hands are His.

Your feet walk as His.

Your mind shall think like His.

Your Heart transplanted with His. With eyes of hope,

Thoughts in faith.

Your steps shall be with grace; Actions will be of peace.

Yesterday has passed

Leading to today.

Give thanks for every moment before…And to come.

This is the day your life will surely change.

When we change our direction towards that of happiness and positivity, we begin to hear things that we never heard before…what is that noise? Those are birds. And, if we listen closely…we may even hear them call our names.

Stepping into the Canvas with an Attentive Ear, listening for the beauty to sing. When we take time to enjoy the Canvas, it returns the message…declaring…I AM Here. Be here, Be Now…listen to the Canvas speak your name. Be Here, Be Now…whisper a soft return…thank you…I Love you. In stillness we are calmed, in calmness we are freed.


The Canvas of Life

The Canvas Of Life

In a world of technology and distractions, we forget to step into the canvas of life. Laid before us to enjoy, often forgotten, we fail to embrace all the canvas has to offer. Painted by source, enjoyed by few, free for all to enjoy. Unplug the PC, turn the phone off, and dare not to answer any emails.

While technology can be a great asset it is often a great distraction, pulling us away from what really matters…being in the now. To be in the now does not necessarily mean to be in the know, which often creates an image of disconnect. Not disconnected from source, but from distractions: news, everyday monotony, and often more sadness.  It is time to re-acclimate ourselves with nature and enjoy all the canvas has to offer. Take a walk, ride a bike, do nothing. When was the last time you did nothing?

I had a wonderful discussion with a friend today as we reminisced about the days of youth. We didn’t have cable, didn’t have cell phones, didn’t have email or PC’s to occupy our time. No…none of that! We just went outside and played. Ahhh…the good ole’ days!

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ”I used everything you gave me.~Erma Bombeck

Stepping into the Canvas unplugging from the rest, enjoying life as it were meant to be. In a world of distractions it is even more important to just be our authentic selves, doing what we want to do. Living life to the fullest did not earn itself by riding the desk or surfing the net. Dare to take in nature around you, feeling the breath of life travel in and out of your being…

time to smell the flowers

Taking the Next Steps

When we first identify necessity for change, the first step proves most difficult…making the first step often with resistance. Resistance comes from not only outside  influences, but mainly from the self. Self-sabotage is very common and it is imperative to stay focused on what we want. If we focus on what we don’t want, we attract more of what we don’t want. Why not focus on what we do want?

Focusing on what we want, we attract more of what we are looking for. Now what? Staying focused on what we want, an invisible force steps in to assist. The next steps are very crucial and requires a bit of effort.

”Just the mere observation by the scientist can change the whole outcome.” Wayne Dyer

Tell nobody of our plan, as interjection by another can alter the intended outcome, unless of course they are to encourage and lift us to that new plateau. Time to create a plan. It is a good idea to write out our goals and keep them nearby as to place them in our daily thought process. First our intentions, applied to paper and finally into our daily practice.

By writing down our goals and placing in plain sight, applying imagery, we apply an invisible technology used by many before us. The Mayan and Egyptian societies introduced this to their people and is still practiced today.

Thoughts become actions, actions become things, and things become new reality. Staying on course with our intentions we instinctively change our daily patterns and continuously change our direction with occasional update to our vision board. The vision board holds our dreams in plain sight, allowing us to keep our course.

Stepping into the canvas with new direction, we instinctively change our course and collaborate with dormant forces supplied by not only self but universal forces. Take this opportunity to dream it, take this time to write it, take this time to align with what is most desired…while letting go of previous beliefs. This is our day…make our dreams come true

Broken Canvas

After eighteen motor vehicle accidents, two motorcycle accidents, three bicycle versus automobile accidents, four instances of hanging from a roof for dear life, sliding under a moving car, a bear encounter, two bull shark encounters, and over eighty-four broken bones, I finally noticed that maybe it was time to change my ways.

Some would say that I was clumsy or that a black cloud followed me wherever I went.  The latter of the two is more accurate but who do you think created the black cloud? It was my self-sabotage creating my misery. While I have heard thoughts are influenced by past traumas in life, the easiest answer is this…I attached negative emotions to everything around me and created more misery in my life. As soon as I chose happiness, all was good. Is there a possibility that some negative emotions have attached into the daily lives…creating self-sabotage of personal growth?

At the time of awakening seeing only the positive in all things, as if I could see the silver-lining in every cloud, I began my steps into the active side of infinity. While the hallucinations have subsided, paradise is still a reality. What did I do? Did I change anything? Merely my thoughts. My thoughts controlled everything: my personal life, my Love life, my reality. When we chose happiness our lives will do somersaults…for the better.

Making the choice to stand firmly in what I believe to be true was not easy.  When first declaring my coming out, not what you think, people challenged me daily in hopes of breaking my spirits. We will touch on this subject another day, as it is one of the major sins written…damning the spirit of another. It was as if satin himself came to challenge me…thankfully Christ entered into my life ”through HIM all things are possible”…true strength arose.

While my physical pain subsided, mental anguish often returned. Yet, as I uncover more shadows of my past, reminded of the pain once endured I become healed. These attached emotions of associated pain only created more pain. Once I uncover them, I quickly ask for forgiveness or allow forgiveness to embrace the pain. Through acceptance of pain I Am healed. Yes, even pain of the past can make us strong…ultimately who we are today. Imagine…would we be who we are today without the lessons of yesterday?

Right on time, the book is delivered!

As I began unraveling my hidden emotions, a book suggested by a wise teacher, shows up to teach releasing of my hidden emotions, finding health, Love and happiness. While these too are merely a choice, we can still miss the mark if we have hidden emotions associated with pain. ”The Emotion Code” by Dr. Bradley Nelson, explains that many of our negative traits are associated with negative emotions caused by past traumas, whether mental or physical.

While I am still putting the pieces together, Humpty Dumpty falls one last time.  Broken only in mental discomfort, he quickly climbs back atop the wall. The pain has gone, but occasional mental pain arises. Allowing it into the Canvas, I quickly paint a brighter scene. The beauty of having been broken? I Am healed. Through good or bad situations we grow. Sometimes are greatest teachers comes from times of darkness.

Stepping into the Canvas releasing old thoughts and pain…discovering a new fresh outlook on life. While the canvas may have painted greys and blacks yesterday, it is sure to have splatter of brighter colors today.  Each new day is an opportunity to discover yet another area of canvas that needs Brightening…another area of growth.

Staying on Course

Ever feel like nobody sees your point of view? People just don’t understand you? While this Is very common in our diverse society, it doesn’t mean we have to give up on what we feel is right. Stay the course.

An acquaintance once felt it necessary to revamp daily policy and procedures, which would require other people in his department to change the way they do things. Not seeing his vision for change, they labeled him as a threat to their department.

He stayed on course and implemented many changes.  The outcome, administration viewed as a win-win for everyone. Patient satisfaction climbed to the highest it had ever been, revenue nearly tripled and our friend found himself working closely with administration implementing other organizational changes to duplicate the same result in other departments. The sad outcome, was our friend lost his job. How I this possible? Administration looked so good promotion was inevitable, just not for our friend. While new administration had new agendas and the department that our friend was in still held animosity towards him, his peers immediately began looking for ways to let him go. During a recent downsizing, the department found their way. Our friend, being the highest paid in his area, quickly found himself on the chopping block.

Should he have started the original task or remain status quo?  With our pilgrim/warrior analogy, the pilgrim would have just remained status quo while the warrior always advances with intent of greater good. Our Warrior friend found himself amidst a difficult lesson, but remained true to himself even though it cost his job.

While many would find this disheartening, our Warrior friend found peace among all this as he knew he was right on course with his highest self. Staying true to himself among adversities, allowing true freedom to prevail. While jobs are slim for many, the jobs remain endless for the Warrior.

Stepping into the Canvas with a Warrior attitude, remaining virtuous in every step. Choose not to pay attention to bleak outcomes, but remain centered in endless possibilities. When we align ourselves with this Warrior attitude, the universe returns the favor with endless possibilities.

Beyond The Canvas

You have made the first step into the canvas, taken the second, but left in wonder about what comes next. Stepping into the Canvas means taking an active participating role in our own lives, while inspiring others along the way. Do we have to do anything? The truth is we need to do very little. Even in dissent, we indirectly take an active role In the Canvas of Life.

So if we need to do nothing, why do we struggle day-to-day trying to find our purpose?  A conditioned response to think that we have to change the world and the only way to do so is through action. Action in the normal sense means to actively seek ways towards success. Myth: success is measured by how far we get in life and how much ’stuff’ we accumulate. Truth: success is not defined on how much stuff we accumulate, but how much acceptance to oneself and tolerance for those around us. The world is changing on a daily basis, yet we remain stuck exactly where we were yesterday. How do we make the leap to changing how we see the rest of the world as it changes daily? With a mere thought…stop worrying about what happened yesterday and begin living for today.


If a man in the morning hear the right way, he may die in the evening without regret.  ~Confucius

To be active in the canvas means to seek purpose, but our only purpose is to live fully, and leaving the details to our painter. Nature is the canvas and we are a part of the Canvas. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While we have a hand in co-creating our own reality, our only goal is finding happiness. Happiness cannot be found on the outside, but within.

Once we submit to our inner calling, happiness is sure to follow.  Once it is found, give it all away. It is not enough to just step into the canvas, but it is getting beyond the belief that we have to do anything in life other than just be happy. Getting beyond the Canvas is not worrying about the outcome, but enjoying all there is.

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.  ~Joseph Campbell

Life is too short…why would we spend it miserable, filled with judgmental thoughts, lacking acceptance and failing to hit the mark of happiness? The bulls-eye to happiness is at the center of our self. Being told to ’do this’ or ’do that,’ we still have the choice to do what we want. Is it monetary value that makes you tick, then go get it. Is it true love you seek, then find it. Whatever it is you are looking for, seek it out and make it true.

bullseye of happiness

There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle.  Deepak Chopra

Stepping into the Canvas in authenticity. Worrying not about outcomes…worrying not about deadlines. Instead worrying about living to the fullest, leaving the details of life to the Master Painter. We are the Canvas… meant to paint as we see fit. Why not paint a picture you could be proud of?

Just Be.  Ben Merens

A Work In Progress


I would be a liar to say I don’t get upset when days are altered. With daily routines, rituals, and patterns that bring peace to my being, it doesn’t take much for the human side to be thrown off course.

Recently at the local gym the steam room goes out, causing great distress on its members. Trying to overcome the fear of not being able to meditate, clear my head, or just be…emitting toxins from my body, I recognize my angst of not being able to use the steam. In my angst I look to another gym, hoping they’ll allow me to use their facility for a week. To my surprise their steam room is out as well. The irony here is not so much that the steam rooms are both out, but that I have found anxiety in something so small.

With our busy schedules it is very easy to get knocked off course…off our course of peace, love and compassion. When our day is complete…work is done. We must tap into our reserves…especially when there may be young ones waiting for us at home. They do not care about the mundane schedule, the busy day, or the many difficulties endured…all that matters to them is you are home. Your undivided attention…that is all they seek. Dig deep, give them everything you have. Change your schedule; check the emotions at the door. They grow up so quickly! Ask any parent as they will say, ”spend every moment with them…they grow up too fast!”

So instead of the steam room, I retreat to nature once again.  There are many alternatives to finding peace and quietude. Nature can play a key role in finding peace…20 minutes per day is equal to a whole week retreat.

During my self-discovery, I uncover more growth opportunity.  I discover that even though I am calm and at peace, there are moments that still bring angst into my day. I am okay with this as I grow forward. My wish for you today is…whatever troubles you, whatever brings angst in your day, may you sit with it, embrace it, and allow it to grow into something brighter.

The irony to my lesson was that as soon as I released the angst of what I thought should be my plan, the steam room miraculously was fixed.


The Irony of Man is not a new problem, but a repeating cyclical behavior passed down from generation to generation. Aristophanes referred to this as eiron, Greek word for Irony, and applied its usage to any shady or annoying characters. The Irony in itself was that Aristophanes himself was a ’jokester’ and often annoyed others within his time. Classic case of projecting shadows onto another.

Carl Jung proved the shadow effect to be that of projection of oneself onto another: In some cases we see positive in another, wishing we could be more like them; In others we see negative aspects of ourselves we do not care for, commenting on them as ”Ironic” or as Aristophanes called annoying.

The first example is self-explanatory as we want to be more like that which we desire to become, thereby causing a natural gravitational pull towards positive people in our lives. The second is not so clear.

Our thoughts and attitudes need persistent training in a world so intent on convincing us that we are who we are not and that we are not who, in fact, we are. ~Debbie Ford

While projecting Shadows, we not only display judgment through bitterness but also express malicious verbal accusations of another. Failing to realize we are merely looking into the mirror with our own reflection projecting onto others, we find disgust with not just them but subconsciously ourselves. Those who remain in their own shadows either stay in darkness or turn towards the light.

We can chase our shadows of doubt or we can turn our attention towards the source of Light, leaving our shadows behind us forever. ~Joseph

Our shadows have ability to shine brightly, as the source of Light, through which awareness and mindfulness is achieved. Remain in the shadows and that is where we remain. Turning attention towards source energy, we receive lessons of acceptance for all (you, me, he, she, we, they): Acceptance for all ironies of life, finding humor in the ironic behavior of man.

Isn’t it ironic that we pay for gym memberships when we could easily walk outside, getting more fresh air, vitamin D and an over-whelming feeling of well-being? We pay for ’Coaches’ to tell us how to live, when we need only sit and ponder our lives. We want to get healthier but are unwilling to make changes in diets or lifestyles, instead paying someone to keep us on track. We have known health issues, but fail to change our ways…further paying someone to aid us with our health…usually in the form of a convenient pill. Our lives are filled with ironies.

Is it a case of laziness or subscribing in a belief of doing something every moment, forgetting to reconnect with the Canvas of Life.  The Canvas of Life has no rules, but has consequences.  We can choose to take our time while painting our canvas or we can rush through it, splattering paint everywhere with little care in how it falls. One can yield a peaceful, tranquil moment while embracing the Canvas and the other yields chaos, angst often misery.  Misery brought on by deadlines and timelines…always living for the clock… missing the beauty provided by the Canvas.

While our moments may not always be what we expect them to be, it can be enjoyable no matter what. The Irony of Man does not have to complete the cycle anymore. We can actually break the cycle of Irony and begin a new cycle: a cycle that includes awareness, forgiveness, gratitude and Love. Wait no longer…change our worldly view. Turn from the shadows of darkness and turn towards the light.

If all we have in our hearts is Love, there can be room for nothing else. ~Joseph

While the Pilgrim subscribes to the Irony of Man allowing the cycle to continue in his lineage, the Warrior (Ani Po) subscribes to a new irony…one of serendipity. On a personal level it can change with a single thought. On a global level, same thought. We find in ourselves, and in others, that not one human being is perfect. In this recognition we find perfection in all the imperfections.


Have you ever wanted to do something in your life, but didn’t know where to begin? or possibly afraid of stepping out of the comfort zone? We all have this burning desire to do something that makes an impact in our lives. Some are fortunate to live the dream at any early age, but for many they will die without ever playing their music. Wayne Dyer often speaks, ”Don’t Die with your Music still in you.”

It is my turn.  Not knowing where I am going with this, I take the first steps.  Feeling naked and vulnerable I move forward into the unknown. Most people do their due diligence and take years to research without ever lifting a finger towards their dream. Equipped with only the basics, proceeding forward…living the Dream.

Often times we set out on task not knowing the direction, but we have a result in mind…ever wonder in awe about how it got finished? When we establish end results, details automatically get filled in. The details are not necessarily filled in by our own works. See the end…but then trust that Universe will take care of the details…she always does.

I hope the writings on this blog inspire many, spark fire within others and help those lost be found once more. The messages will be raw and unfiltered (for now) and will grow into something that which I have not figured out. Waves of Gratitude and Love are sent to those who support me on my journey of life and so it begins.

With only an idea in my back pocket and intent in my Heart, I set out on a journey of a lifetime…dropping seeds of Hope, Love and Peace…for I am a work in progress.

Stepping into the canvas with new light of serendipity.  As our habits become old, we acquire habits of new. Whatever troubles you through the day, bring thanks to your being…let it go, trusting ‘all is good.’ Stepping with our own angst, we begin walking in a new light. Have a glorious day and may your day be filled with new habits of Love and Light. With every step, every thought…may it be aligned with the seven generations. With our ability to alter the cycles, we align our thoughts with that of source energy. Focusing on our shadow, we remain in darkness: focusing on Light, we Shine On into another day. Shine On…we are a work in progress.



Nearly Perfect in Every Way


Up and down the roller-coaster we go! One day up and one day we are down…we see suffering, we witness paradise. How we see the world is often a mirror image of what we see in our own mirror. To see paradise in the world, we must be able to see the divinity in the mirror of our soul.

To look into a mirror, can be scary.

One will see the true self, aged and worn.

Look past what we see,

find the beauty others see.

Why do we see their beauty,

but fail to see our own?

See what I see…for I see a divine being who is loved.

Look into thy mirror,

see the magnificence.


Look into thy mirror, see the beautiful creation.

The person staring back, either be friend or fo…the choice is ours.

The person staring back,

creates heaven on earth. Or, the opposing, if that is what they choose.

See what I see…for I see a divine being who is loved.

Stepping into the Canvas of our own reflection, seeing the Canvas of Life as we see fit.  We can choose to see grief and sadness or happiness and exhilaration as our guide.  While Pilgrim sees only the surface, Warrior sees deep within the soul.  Seeing deep within, she Loves deep without. Looking Beyond the Canvas of Life…we see a mirrored paradise…as within, so without.


Beauty Within 

It is said that our biggest enemy lurks within our own mirrors, sabotaging our true self from being loved. We gaze upon the mirror, judging relentlessly. The beauty is…this same mirror holds our greatest ally captive, we need only see Her in her truest form.

We  return  to  Ani  Po,  as  she  recently  visits  a  Pilgrim,  which  we  shall  know  him  as  Tidak Sini. This next story came to me in a vision. I entered a friend’s house, only to witness him covering all of the mirrors in his house. He was painting them so he no longer had to look at the pain and suffering.

Instead of embracing the pain and suffering as a guide to a more happy life, he covered the reflection of his past…never allowing the pain to be healed. Shortly after this vision, I experienced it first hand as I witnessed a friend doing this very thing. Part allegory, part real…I hope the message is understood…

Note:  Tidak Sini is Malay for ”Not  Here.” Ani  Po  is  Hebrew  for  ”I  am  Here.” While  the Warrior shall be called Ani Po, it seems only fitting to call the pilgrim Tidak Sini (not here).

As  Ani  Po  entered  Tidak’s  home,  She  heard  a  whisper…”Be  Open…Go  Beyond.” At  the sound of the wind, She knew this visit was no mistake.

Ani Po: ”Hello friend! What are you doing?”

TIdak: ”Nothing, just covering up all the mirrors in my house.” Ani Po: ”Why?”

Tidak: ”Because  I  am  tired  of  seeing  my  face  in  the  mirrors.   I  have  done  so  many  bad things in my life and ashamed. I judged people, called them bad names, and deliberately harmed them.”

Ani Po: ”I  am  sorry  to  hear  this.” Reaching  forward,  placing  hand  on  His  shoulder,  as  to say it was ok.”But you are human and we all make mistakes.”

TIdak: ”But I cannot forgive myself for what I have done.”

Ani Po:”Would it make you feel better If I forgave you?  Have you thought about going to your abused and asking for forgiveness?”

Tidak: ”No! I cannot.”

Ani Po: ”You could ask ’Great Spirit’ for forgiveness. Once we step into the Light of forgiveness, we are forgiven. Return to the old ways and we shall not. Removing paint-covered mirrors, only allows the true self to be seen. Why not remove the paint, ask for forgiveness and learn to Love the enemy within? See the enemy within as ally, and the enemy without shall become one too. What or how we see ourselves is how we see the other pilgrims around us. If we see only disgust within ourselves, chances are we see the disgust all around us.”

Tidak: ”So, are you saying I should learn Love within to have Love without?”

Ani Po: ”Exactly what I am saying.  Our inner beauty is exactly that and it takes a bit of chiseling to uncover the many layers of paint we have applied to our mirrors. When I walked in today,I heard a whisper that said ‘Go Beyond.’ I think that message was for you, going beyond what you see…”

Ani Po knows all too well…we can cover the mirrors for a temporary fix, but eventually looking deep within our souls, unlocking our true-self.

Stepping into the Canvas of our own reflection, seeing the Canvas of Life as we see fit. We can choose to see grief and sadness or happiness and exhilaration as our guide. While Pilgrim sees only the surface, Warrior sees deep within the soul. Seeing deep within, she Loves deep without.

All We Need Is Love

With so many holidays set aside for self reflections, we autonomously focus on what matters most…Love. Valentines’ Day is a time to celebrate one’s Love often expressed to another. It is also the second largest Hallmark moment, next to Christmas, and is often accompanied with greeting cards, flowers or even more extravagant gifts.

The origin of this festival had an entirely different meaning prior to the 5th century.  The earliest recordings state that the February festival was a time of an ancient fertility festival, dedicated to the Roman god of agriculture, Faunus, as well as the Roman founders Romulus and Remus. This festival was eventually banned by the Catholic church in the early 5th century.  Pope Gelasasius declared it a day of celebration, honoring patron Saint Vincent. The irony here is that many would still consider honoring a person as a form Idolatry, stemming from Paganism. Just as the Church deemed the fertility festival Paganism, they asked its followers to honor a Saint. In many eyes, both would be considered Idolatry.

Regardless of the detail, it does remain a festival of sharing Love…and there is no greater gift than sharing Love. However, should it be reserved for only one day? Can it be extended throughout the year? Can we adopt a belief system that shares Love and not hate? Can we all hear the sounds of John Lennon, as the Beatles sing…All we need is Love? Everyday should be Valentines Day.

Today, I challenge you to share Love with all your encounters as if it were Valentines Day.  Love does not have to be physical, but merely a kind thought towards someone. Sharing Love with another can change the whole day. Sharing Love with those closest to us…and furthest away if possible. It is not reserved for any one person or any one day, but it is meant to be shared by all…for all eternity. Love is the answer to all things.

Stepping into the Canvas with Love over-flowing.  Sharing our day in Love, we set a tone for a new beginning. A new beginning, filled with Love, Peace and Happiness…not the lack of. It is not reserved for some…but All-Inclusive. When we learn to Love freely, we learn the meaning of Agape. Love unconditionally and you shall know true freedom…


Darn near perfection…beautiful just the way you are.~Ani Po

Nobody is perfect or are they? Is it our perception or judgment that declares an imperfection? Truly I say to you, we are all perfect in our own ways and we are beautiful as the next.

Looking beyond the mirror of things, letting go of how we should be or things should be…we come to a place of accepting. Accepting others, accepting the self…as imperfectly perfect as we are. I am not perfect, but I am…so are you!

darn near perfect

Moment to Moment: Re-Writing the Canvas


In today’s fast world, it is nearly impossible to be stress free. I say nearly because it is possible. All it takes is a little practice. With practice…makes perfect!

Each new day is an opportunity for the present moment. From moment to moment, experience to experience, we can be fully in that moment. What does this mean? It means that when we are doing the dishes, we are fully in this moment of doing dishes, Enjoying the experience and miracle of being able to do so.

I’ve always known that I could create a life I desired, but never really understood how it worked. It wasn’t until my new discovery of happiness, eleven years ago, I realized it was all created in divine timing. From the time when I was three, being able to see visions of future, to current day of seeing beauty, magic, and happiness extending through my day.

Living in a world of labels and judgment, about how I should act or be, riding an up and down roller coaster. As I created my given situations, something inadvertently changed the outcomes. What was It? It was the labels and ideas of others that influenced my life.

Just the mere observation of an experiment can change the whole outcome.~Shmuel Gurvitz (Quantum Physicist)

What good are names? Labels? These are all man-made, with varying importance. We label things so we can understand what it is we are doing, who we are speaking to, or whatever. It is through labels we communicate with one another. I often forget people’s names, forget stories of the past, and don’t look too far into the future, because all I have is now. Currently driving to work next to me is a scooter with a man wearing a black leather jacket, leather gloves, and a shiny black helmet…but no one else on the road. I am fully committed to my day and the work that I do. Just as the Policeman keeping a driver safe and a tow truck pulling the car out of traffic, we all have purpose and an opportunity to share these moments. These observations are mine and mine alone…these are my moments to enjoy. I have mine and you have yours.

We all have this innate ability to be fully in the moment, enjoying every piece Of the canvas. Moment to moment, we arrive.~Ani Po


Arriving to our Destination, one moment at a time, we celebrate it as a new beginning. With new beginnings every second bringing endings of the same, celebrate these moments each and every day.

Stepping into the canvas with greenery all around, being fully in the moment, enjoying the Canvas laid before us. Whatever we do today, wherever we may go, know that happiness resides within us. It is this knowing of happiness, that it exists. To know happiness is to be happiness… Enjoy your day.

As we step out today, witnessing the surrounding beauty of the day, stop to give thanks. Give thanks for varying colors, varying smells, and various activities throughout the day. Within gratitude, we attract more to be grateful for…allowing a continuous flow of abundance to flow into our lives.

We could choose to see dullness of our days, suffering in the world, or we can choose to see the beauty of the day. This does not mean we ignore the suffering world. No, not at all. We merely bring awareness to the dwelling negativity attracting more negativity, allowing our attention to focus, more intently on that of positivity.


Are you currently complaining about your neighbor? Currently complaining about another? Do you see another person as Satan? Before you judge them or before you label them, have you fully taken time to understand them? Are you aware that every person is reflection of the self at some level of our being?

I see this often, judging another without full understanding their group or affiliations. Instead of getting to know the person, we often point fingers, highlighting their differences. How about getting to know them? Understand them? It is in our understanding of another, that we understand ourselves. To truly understand ourselves, we need to learn other cultures, other choices, and other beliefs. Respecting all, not necessarily following them, we understand ourselves as whole. In making whole, we stand firmly in our beliefs (with acceptance in our hearts for other persons’ beliefs).

The canvas of life has enough suffering in the world, the last thing we need is more negativity. How do we change this? It begins with the self. If you lash out at the children, scream at a coworker, label another as Satan or a whore, are you really spreading positive cheer throughout the day? Whether Christian, Muslim or Jew, are we following our teachings by spreading more negativity? Instead of positivity, we are merely spreading more negativity. The world does not need more negativity. Rewriting the canvas takes time and effort, like a painter who decides to change his own canvas…applying new paint.

As the painter evaluates the canvas before him, giving a pause, only to Begin anew. Clearing the canvas, the painter starts fresh with new paint, maybe a new brush, and a new idea. As the new idea begins to flow, so to…a new canvas.

We are all painters of our own Canvas. The Great Canvas before us, painted by the great I AM, is left for self-interpretation. It is up to self-interpretation, either negative or positive, good or evil. In retrospect there is no good or evil…only the whole.

Seeing the canvas of life as whole, we ourselves become whole. Letting go of self-judgment, self-interpretation of the Canvas, healing shall take place. In healing our own canvas of life, we are healing the grand picture laid out before us by the master painter…without judgment. Seeing the canvas of life as whole, enjoying all the differences within the canvas, becoming whole. In our wholeness, canvas of life becomes good once again.

Stepping into the Canvas with new supplies. With pen to paper, brush to canvas, our life is rewritten with a single stroke of a pen or brush. It is possible to wipe the slate clean, but equally possible to rewrite the Canvas of Life. Everything leading to this point in history has made you the beautiful, smart and powerful person that you are. True power comes from within, given freely…go now give of this power freely…live the life you were meant to…Live a Syncrosensational Life…You were born for this day!


Taking the 1st Steps


The Warrior living in a new reality, was not always in the extraordinary. He once lived the ordinary, calling himself Pilgrim. His life was as everyone else, eating what everyone told him to eat. His church was a product of what everybody believed to be the ’one true’ church and his government was a natural enemy. As a Pilgrim he essentially lived in a sorrow filled reality, believing in what everyone around him instructed. This was unsettling to him and he needed to find a new reality.

Where does the Pilgrim turn to, when mainstream tells you how to live, who to associate with and what words to speak? How does the Pilgrim cut strings to his reality as a marionette? It is with the first step which proves to be the most difficult an old Chinese Proverb states:

The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Knowing this, the Pilgrim takes a chance on what is burning within.  There is a natural burning of desire within each and every one of us, but we fail to embrace our highest desires of being free to do what we want…living the life we were meant. Without that first step, the Pilgrim would have remained in the Reality of Pilgrim, never knowing a reality of Warrior. It is time to take that first step…Step Into the Canvas. From Pilgrim to Warrior and Warrior to Pilgrim…we are one.

When I was a boy, probably the age of three, I remember seeing things that were not seen by all. It was as if dreams were foretelling future and visions were showing me a new reality. When I spoke of this new reality, my parents told me that it was not possible and to stop daydreaming…insisting their reality is to be my reality.

I recall standing on the coast of Lake Michigan, describing to my father what I could see as a town across the waters. As I described what I saw, my father told me to erase what I saw, focusing on what was in front of me. This was the time of my shutdown. As I shutdown from seeing invisible, I began living as what everyone expected me to be.

Years later I would share this vision with an elder and what I felt it meant. Smiling, the Fire Keeper sat me down by the fire, sharing a story of “Our People.” This is where you are from and these are our people…you have had a vision of “The First Nation.” Across the shores of Lake Michigan, through the Great Lakes, we arrived to the Midwest and then spread throughout the Island. So I wasn’t imagining this? No, not at all. You were given a glimpse into the past so you can move forward in brighter days.

Up and down the roller coaster of life I went. On the ups, screaming in ecstasy…the lows manifesting some physical or metal pain. Something just did not feel right as I was injured two to three times each year for the next thirty years. I created my highs, but I also created my lows. When I was in sync with my true thoughts, the roller coast rose higher and higher into the unknown…creating joy. When I was living as ‘they’ had told me to do so, I would fall lower and lower into a world of pain.

I broke my first bone at the age of three, the next a year later. Breaking bones two or three times a year, I became well versed at the natural healing process of the divine self. Even when Doctors told me that I would be limited in my functionality, I chose a different option. Believing only in my happiness, reaching for a higher plane, more Love and Happiness in life. Accepting this, my life changed.

At the age of thirty-three, my life began to decay. A decay, which later would be known as a rebirth. In my own death, I gave new life to a new reality of living…living a Syncrosensational Life.

During the rebirth ecstasy returned, lasting longer and longer each time. With practice, becoming more and more my reality. As the day became night and the night submitted to the days, my life clarity began. Suddenly I felt a sense of purpose, with all the answers to life’s questions answered.

Here I sit attempting to paint a picture of how one should live, through words,  but I cannot. As my path unfolds, I realize my reality is different from another. In our differences, we are the same. As I accept myself, I am accepting others for their differences. Some good and some not so good.

How is this possible? How is it we are so different, but we are the same? It is a silly human trait to think we are different or separate from the rest. In realizing our differences make us whole, we are free to live in a reality often considered fantasy land. What are the risks? The risks of living in fantasy land? No risks, except for the opportunities we fail to see.

Accepting new reality does not mean worldly suffering disappears. Instead it means focus is on that of greater desire…peace. Lending a hand when feasible and lending prayer when it is not in my power to aid. Soon I was to learn what “holding space” actually means.

It is not enough to take part in the Canvas of Life, but more importantly to fall into the canvas…with whole heart and soul. What does it mean to fall into the canvas? It means not just stepping into the canvas while actively participating in the canvas, but being an active participant with continuous intention of actively participating in the canvas; AND creating a life most Desired, while enjoying every aspect of the canvas.

From the darkened clouds painted on the canvas to the neon fluorescent and radiating colors, we are to create the lives as we choose not as others choose. Whenever a painter paints it is through his own interpretation of the Universe, but when others analyze His work they attach their own interpretation.

If we only see one side of the painting, we miss the creator’s intent.  See the beauty of all the varying colors/varying interpretations and lose yourself in the many mysteries that lay before you in the canvas.

Where does one begin?  Put down the blackberry.  Hang up the cellphone.  Stop texting for a moment. Just sit and ’be’ for a moment, allowing the true nature to fill your soul. Can’t do it?! Then take a weekend and spend some needed time in the woods. Maybe it is time for a retreat?!

If all you did was just look for things to appreciate you would live a joyous, spectacular life. If there was nothing else that you ever came to understand other than just look for things to appreciate, it’s the only tool you would ever need to predominantly hook you up with who you really are. That’s all you’d need. ~Abraham

It is about taking time to enjoy the beauty of nature…returning back to Mother Earth and being one. Many will oppose this idea, but eventually will need some necessary downtime or as I like to call it…’Me Time.’ during this me time is the one way we can bridge the gap between us and the Universe.

Stepping Into the Canvas choosing to fall with whole heart and soul.  Lend a hand, an ear or a friendly smile. Do what you want today not what others say ’you should’ do. Stay away from the trap of pleasing others, but please only yourself. Today I will not only step, but will fall into the canvas…taking the first steps toward happiness.

Have you been sitting on the fence about a life change? A new job? Where you are going? Focus on the task at hand..that of Love, Light and Life…and you shall never be led astray. It is time…


Through Eyes of Spirit


About 11 years ago, when life turned upside down…not knowing what was real or who I was, I began searching for answers. Answers of who I am, where I am going and what is to become of my reality. My reality was not all that bleak, but filled with anger, fear and blindness.

When I first heard the words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, I ignored them. Hearing them again, I could not ignore the message infusing into my reality, in which would change course of life forever: “When you change the way you look at things, things you look at change.”
If it were not for a friend in need, and a burning desire to help another, I may not have unlocked the door to infinite possibilities. A funny characteristic of humans is that we cannot see beyond the tip of our nose. When given suggestions of change, we boldly state “I’m good.” For me…this was so true.
I was working as a Manager of a Cancer Program at the time, managing rental properties and trying to maintain a happy household. With children on the way, less sleep…anger and fear became an intricate part of my day. Then one day, hearing Wayne’s words once again…something happened. I realized that life is too short to work our knuckles to the bone and too short to lose sight of having happiness as our reality.
“Sell you cleverness, purchase bewilderment.”~Rumi
Sell everything I did!
Caution: selling everything does not mean living in poverty, but means we have defined what necessity to sustaining a fruitful life…this was the beginning to self-actualization.
Self-actualized do not subscribe to messages of obtaining more, for more is less in many cases. Identifying with self, self-actualized begin redefining reality as they see fit. Having money is not poisonous unless it becomes an obsession…self-actualized are no longer willing to drink of this poison.
It was through shadows of past, that Light began to shine through. Through my own shadows and restless nights of sleep, I was guided into the brightness of my days. My life, filled with anger and fear, yielding nightmares, insomnia and thoughts of more hate towards self and fellow-man. It was not until later the pieces to this great puzzle of life would come to an understanding. Through my understanding, I now shall gift it to you.
It is often stated if we live in fear, or in the flesh, we confine ourselves into that reality before us. Minimizing our possibilities to our beliefs, we remain trapped in the misery of our days. Changing our direction and gaze to the unknown, we expand our consciousness and the boundaries within our reality. Religion is a great tool for obtaining the keys to the unknown, but misused it traps us in a Hell which most see as paradise. Hell is not paradise…unless you like it hot…I would prefer somewhere else…like Florida or South America. If it is going to be hot, I would much rather be happy and hot…not miserable, afraid and burning up.
Before my shift in consciousness, nightmares and insomnia prevailed with peace taking a back seat. Bringing Peace and Love into my days, the nights began to mirroring the days. Studying my dreams, if I slept, seeing a common theme changing within my days. Our dream world will direct us in our true path of the day. The dream world will direct us into the places we must go. Often scary and shocking but assuredly our subconscious is begging for our attention.

In following the path of our shadows, unearthing more fear and hate, we risk unearthing something greater…Love. Through personal Darkness, we find Light. Letting go of what we thought was real, we open our eyes to an abyss of unknown…opening the eyes of spirit.
“To see through the eyes of flesh, our view is short and narrow; through the eyes of spirit, vast and infinite.”~Ani Po


So this begins a modern day heroes journey. One of risk, one of letting go, one of changing realities. It is my hope that the reader connects with the pages of self and applies to their personal lives. There is a common theme amongst all heroes before you…once we declare our purpose and intentions within the Canvas of Life, dormant forces come alive. In the beginning dual forces or opposing sides will try to convince you to retreat to past realities. I encourage you to press on. As you do, the journey and understanding begins easier and easier…until the fantasy comes alive!

Stepping into the Canvas is about each and every person finding their place in the world and seeing it with awe and wonder on a daily basis. To see the Canvas of Life with fresh new eyes, we must let go of old beliefs and ways that no longer serve us. This is the first step. Then moment by moment we arrive in a place of not knowing and knowing all at the same time. Selling cleverness, we create a new sense that all is good…each and every day…

It was brought to my attention today, I have yet to write a book. Knowing that the book is already there, something keeps me from writing…setting a stage for my own steps into the Canvas of Life.

Well versed in my own words, I still remain frozen in fear of what might be. Turns out that I am just like many humans who have a dream, failing to move forward in their dreams. I often write about stepping into the canvas, but fail to hear the wisdom. Does this happen to you? Do you often give advice to others only to hear your own words regurgitated back to you?

It is a common trait of being human I guess. One of looking to others for self acceptance, by telling them what ‘they’ should do. I have learned that it is not my place to tell them what to do, but give choices so they may make up their own damn minds. Giving choices to another, is as if I am accepting myself for who I have come to be. Knowing this, I must move forward…but something remains clear…I am holding ‘me’ back.

Today, while meeting a friend at her studio Healing Hearts Center, in Lake Geneva, Stacy allowed me to enter a sacred space of spirit. I should have known something bigger was about to happen, when an Eagle swooped down in front of my vehicle, as if trying to get my attention. My first thought was that Spirit was flying with me…but later realized that Spirit was about to speak through and towards me.

I arrived at Stacy’s studio with the intention of painting my first ‘real’ canvas, but knew deep down how spirit operates…hiding a deeper meaning within our encounters.

As I began painting, with coaching of Stacy, I witnessed layer upon layer unfold, as I peeled back the onion of my soul. Layer upon layer, it was presented upon the Canvas of my own Life.

Again, I reflect on past writings as I skirted my own journey. Not in a sense of my own dealings of, but the details and intricacies of the lessons. I left so much meaning out of the lessons in fear that it may be to controversial or it may offend some other person. The truth of the matter is this…just as the reality of my painting unfolding, my own reality does exist. As my reality is my own, so is your own personal story. When God speaks to me, I am afraid to tell people…for those who say God does not speak or even the blasphemy of such an idea. My skirting the details was apparent and it is time to move forward.

I will not wonder how my time will permit my writing or editing of the book, but instead I will ask that time present itself to embrace the potentiality of my visions. The wording is critical, as my own fears can attract more reasons as to not write the book. Being a father and a husband, with my responsibilities, I will need to juggle yet again. I know that it will work in my favor and pen to paper shall begin.

So what am I to write? This is a common question for many who embark on their own journey of telling their story. My intentions, however, are not to hear my own story or toot my own horn…instead they are meant to assist others in getting through their own dilemmas of life.

Our stories are so intimate to the self, but putting them in writing we run the risk of being vulnerable. Through my nine years of searching I have come to many conclusions…one of them being…in our own vulnerabilities, we find our own strengths. Even in our own appearance of being vulnerable, we stand firmly in our own strength. Five years ago, my father expressed his concern, “I am afraid you have lost your edge and you are losing sight of your own reality.” My response then and still today, “What may appear to be losing my edge, I am merely sharpening my skills and both sides to my sword. That sword being the sword of truth.”

When I first sat down to paint today, I had no idea what I was going to paint. As the strokes and colors began taking shape, we witnessed the layers of my life unfolding onto the canvas. I am at the focal point of my own Canvas, surrounding myself with many teachers, comprising of family and friends. No longer listening to the negativity of others or the nay-Sayers of life, the voice of All Creation began to speak through me. Surrounding myself with positive people, taking baby-steps forward, my life began taking leaps and bounds through various shifts within my own life. This is the same process that all people, past and present, have gone through…I am no different then they.

It is through our own trusting, that all will be good, our lives take a turn for the greater good. On a personal level everything seems to be great, but on a global level…things just seem to be brighter all around. As within, so without. Our own personal transformations do in fact change the way we see the world. While the suffering still exists in the world, we are more accepting of the suffering. As without, so within. On a personal level…we embrace our own shadows of the nights, only to emerge in the brightest of days.

Today’s painting was monumental to say the least, for it was written back in my thought process when I was twelve years old. Never really understood the meaning behind my dreams, but knew that one day I would write and paint a brighter day…and there forward. Do you have a dream? Did you ever have a dream when you were younger, but do not have any idea how to get there? Start asking how this shall come to fruition and it shall be so. In asking we align ourselves with a higher power, that is available to all, presenting more opportunities to make our dreams come true.

Today, and this day forward, we have the ability to live it as we have chosen it to be. Listen to our old ways of ‘that can’t be done’ and we shall hit that mark every time. Change our directions to that of ‘I will’ and ‘I can’ it shall be so. Today is the day we step confidently in a new direction…a direction of wonder and awe!

Sitting in sacred space of writing, I reflect on my sacred space of life. returning to this sacred space of life, I enter a world of sacredness. It is in this sacred space that all presents itself for our greater good, on a singular level and a global level. For what we do for the self, we do for all humanity. When we find ourselves, we find the answers to all there is.

A teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.~Khalil Gibran

Stepping into the Canvas right on time. For it is in this very moment in time that our lives take the turn for our greater good, if we see it as so. If we question it, we shall remain in an abyss of what if or what will be. Stay the course, trusting the process of life…as we begin stepping towards brighter days…in doing so…All is Good.