Stepping into the Canvas

 

It was brought to my attention today, that I have yet to ‘write my book.’ Knowing that the book is already there, something keeps me from writing the book setting a stage for my own steps into the Canvas of Life.

Well versed in my own words, I still remain frozen in fear of what might be. Turns out that I am just like many humans who have a dream, but fail to move forward in their dreams. I often write about stepping into the canvas, but fail to hear the wisdom that spews from my own lips. Does this happen to you? Do you often give advice to others only to hear your own words regurgitated back to you?

It is a common trait of being human I guess. One of looking to others for self acceptance, by telling them what ‘they’ should do. I have learned that it is not my place to tell them what to do, but give them choices so they may make up their own damn minds. Giving choices to another, is as if I am accepting myself for who I have come to be. Knowing this, I must move forward…but something remains clear…I am holding ‘me’ back.

Today, while meeting a friend at her studio Healing Hearts Center, in Lake Geneva, Stacy Whetlow allowed me to enter a sacred space of spirit. I should have known something bigger was about to happen, when an Eagle swooped down in front of my vehicle, as if trying to get my attention. My first thought was that Spirit was flying with me…but later realized that Spirit was about to speak through and towards me.

I arrived at Stacy’s studio with the intention of painting my first ‘real’ canvas, but knew deep down how spirit operates…hiding a deeper meaning within our encounters.

As I began painting, with coaching of Stacy, I witnessed layer upon layer unfold, as I peeled back the onion of my soul. Layer upon layer, it was presented upon the Canvas of my own Life.

Again, I reflect on past writings as I skirted my own journey. Not in a sense of my own dealings of, but the details and intricacies of the lessons. I left so much meaning out of the lessons in fear that it may be to controversial or it may offend some other person. The truth of the matter is this…just as the reality of my painting unfolding, my own reality does exist. As my reality is my own, so is your own personal story. When God speaks to me, I am afraid to tell people…for those who say God does not speak or even the blasphemy of such an idea. My skirting the details was apparent and it is time to move forward.

I will not wonder how my time will permit my writing or editing of the book, but instead I will ask that time present itself to embrace the potentiality of my visions. The wording is critical, as my own fears can attract more reasons as to not write the book. Being a father and a husband, with my responsibilities, I will need to juggle yet again. I know that it will work in my favor and pen to paper shall begin.

So what am I to write? This is a common question for many who embark on their own journey of telling their story. My intentions, however, are not to hear my own story or toot my own horn…instead they are meant to assist others in getting through their own dilemmas of life.

Our stories are so intimate to the self, but putting them in writing we run the risk of being vulnerable. Through my nine years of searching I have come to many conclusions…one of them being…in our own vulnerabilities, we find our own strengths. Even in our own appearance of being vulnerable, we stand firmly in our own strength. Five years ago, my father expressed his concern, “I am afraid you have lost your edge and you are losing sight of your own reality.” My response then and still today, “What may appear to be losing my edge, I am merely sharpening my skills and both sides to my sword. That sword being the sword of truth.”

When I first sat down to paint today, I had no idea what I was going to paint. As the strokes and colors began taking shape, we witnessed the layers of my life unfolding onto the canvas. I am at the focal point of my own Canvas, surrounding myself with many teachers, comprising of family and friends. No longer listening to the negativity of others or the nay-Sayers of life, the voice of All Creation began to speak through me. Surrounding myself with positive people, taking baby-steps forward, my life began taking leaps and bounds through various shifts within my own life. This is the same process that all people, past and present, have gone through…I am no different then they.

It is through our own trusting, that all will be good, our lives take a turn for the greater good. On a personal level everything seems to be great, but on a global level…things just seem to be brighter all around. As within, so without. Our own personal transformations do in fact change the way we see the world. While the suffering still exists in the world, we are more accepting of the suffering. As without, so within. On a personal level…we embrace our own shadows of the nights, only to emerge in the brightest of days.

Today’s painting was monumental to say the least, for it was written back in my thought process when I was twelve years old. Never really understood the meaning behind my dreams, but knew that one day I would write and paint a brighter day…and there forward. Do you have a dream? Did you ever have a dream when you were younger, but do not have any idea how to get there? Start asking how this shall come to fruition and it shall be so. In asking we align ourselves with a higher power, that is available to all, presenting more opportunities to make our dreams come true.

Today, and this day forward, we have the ability to live it as we have chosen it to be. Listen to our old ways of ‘that can’t be done’ and we shall hit that mark every time. Change our directions to that of ‘I will’ and ‘I can’ it shall be so.

Sitting in my sacred space of writing, I reflect on my sacred space of life. returning to this sacred space of life, I enter a world of sacredness. It is in this sacred space that all presents itself for our greater good, on a singular level and a global level. For what we do for the self, we do for all humanity. When we find ourselves, we find the answers to all there is.

A teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.~Khalil Gibran

Stepping into the Canvas right on time. For it is in this very moment in time that our lives take the turn for our greater good, if we see it as so. If we question it, we shall remain in an abyss of what if or what will be. Stay the course, trusting the process of life…as we begin stepping towards brighter days…in doing so…All is Good.

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Digging Up Some Dirt

In a world of negativity, it is only natural to create a protective barrier towards an experienced negative emotion. When we were children experiencing name calling or physical abuse, we immediately create a defensive behavior protecting us from future encounters. Growing up we create protective barriers  and these barriers keep us from being who we truly meant to be. Our defense mechanisms actually block us from reaching our inner most feelings…that of pure Love.
Have you ever an experience make you so mad you felt helpless? Where do you suppose that conditioned response came from? It is often said we are conditioned through our personal direct and indirect experiences, leaving us no choice but react in fear. The following story is about a man who finds a treasure map. The only thing he need doing,  is dig it up…for the treasure was guaranteed…
A man comes home to his beautiful bride uncontrollably excited he tells her he found a treasure map guaranteeing riches beyond comprehension. The exciting part was he deduced that the treasure was buried right in their very back yard! Already getting the shovels ready out back, he invited his wife to join him in the dig.
They begin digging and imagining what the riches might be. The wife imagines paying off their house, getting new cars, sending their kids to the finest colleges and taking 3-4 exotic trips per year. The husbands ideas were a bit different, as he expressed the need for a boat, new cars, motorcycles, 4-wheelers, snowmobiles, cabin on thousands of acres, new house, and quitting his job.
After about 4 hours, they both are experiencing fatigue while second-guessing there is even a treasure at all. Losing hope fast, they continue the dig. The wife quits from exhaustion but the husband keeps digging.
After 8 hours in total, the husband is angry and wonders why he is even digging in the first place. His wife, handing him a refreshing glass of lemonade, offers him some encouragement, “Dear. How will we ever know if there is a treasure, if we give up digging?”
The husband replies, “But dear. We have dug for over 8 hours and we haven’t found anything yet and the ground is getting more difficult to penetrate. It would be easy if it were topsoil, but the clay and rocks makes it nearly impossible to cut through.”
The wife reminds her husband that “if it were all topsoil the treasure would have been found by now. Being clay many people are certain to have given up, just as you want to. Now is the time to press on and go for the treasure that you were so sure of in the first place.”
“Yes, I can do this.”

He looks to his wife, “I need your help dear. I cannot do this alone. Together we can cut through the toughest of earth thrown at us.”
After digging for another 45 minutes they come to stop…they found something. It was a treasure alright, filled with everything imaginable. Gems, gold, bonds, deeds to land, and a mirror that read…”while these treasures are here for your taking, the true gift lay within. You persevered where others gave up, you came together when others split up, you sacrificed much time to obtain your goals. You are the gift beyond all measures…the rest is just details.”
Just as in life, there are promises of  a treasure beyond measure but when we discover it may require a bit of digging up past negative experiences we forget about the promised treasure. Truth is, only 1-5% of all people are willing to cut through the dirty part of our lives for true healing. Our true healing can come from undeniable faith of being saved, but more often than not our human flesh gets in the way of our beliefs. Because of our stubbornness, we often have to learn things the difficult way. In the case of the husband and wife team, they their faith and actions to find paradise. It took faith of the husband and wife, but it also took the support of the wife for this dream to come true. In going beyond the dirty past, we find a beautiful paradise.
There was a clay Buddha statue owned by a battered monastery. One day a monk noticed something shiny coming through the dirty clay statue of the Buddha. When he began chiseling away he discovered a golden Buddha thought to have been lost for thousands of years. The monks of the old days covered the golden Buddha in clay so that the armies, that destroyed their village years ago, would never find the Buddha. The treasure would not have been found without persistence of this monk.

“David was already in there. I just chipped away the excess.”

~Michelangelo


As in life we are to chip away the excess. If all we know is what we know on the surface, how would we ever know what lay underneath?

While the Pilgrim would have given up digging in the dirt, with no promise of ever finding a treasure and leaving him unknowing to what lay underneath. The Warrior continues digging, giving thanks for each new layer unearthed. With every layer, She knows that her treasure lay beneath the next layer…going yet another layer.

Stepping into the Canvas with shovel in hand. Daring to dig up the past, only to heal once more. Those willing to chip away the excess will surely find their David laying underneath. In unearthing the past we instinctively lay a new canvas to be shared by all.

Failure

For years I was told, “you’re not invincible!” This coming from an person who hides behind their own fears. Have you ever met someone who continually told you could not do something? Dealing with someone with this mentality can be very harmful to your own psyche and can have lasting effect. My advice…run away as fast as you can or merely do not share your thoughts or ideas with them or anyone.

It is not a question invincibility or not, but belief in going beyond normal boundaries established by most. The majority being the 99% of the population that believes in boundaries laid before them. This did not stop Jabez when he prayed to God for expanding his boundaries, during a time of despair.

“Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory,

that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil,

that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.

1 Chronicles 4:10

There is clearly a significant difference between those who believe in limits and those who redefine them. Michael Jordan cut from his High School basketball team, only to prove the world how wrong they were. Abraham Lincoln never stopped:

  • 1816: His family was forced out of their home. He had to work to support them.
  • 1818: His mother died.
  • 1831: Failed in business.
  • 1832: Ran for state legislature – lost.
  • 1832: Also lost his job – wanted to go to law school but couldn’t get in.
  • 1833: Borrowed some money from a friend to begin a business and by the end of the year he was bankrupt. He spent the next17 yearsof his life paying off this debt.
  • 1834: Ran for state legislature again – won.
  • 1835: Was engaged to be married, sweetheart died and his heart was broken.
  • 1836: Had a total nervous breakdown and was in bed for six months.
  • 1838: Sought to become speaker of the state legislature – defeated.
  • 1840: Sought to become elector – defeated.
  • 1843: Ran for Congress – lost.
  • 1846: Ran for Congress again – this time he won – went to Washington and did a good job.
  • 1848: Ran for re-election to Congress – lost.
  • 1849 Sought the job of land officer in his home state – rejected.
  • 1854: Ran for Senate of the United States – lost.
  • 1856: Sought the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party’s national convention – got less than100 votes.
  • 1858: Ran for U.S. Senate again – again he lost.
  • 1860: Elected president of the United States.
  • 1864: Re-Elected.

With perseverance and determination, these famous people moved beyond the normal constraints and redefined their own boundaries. What was this magic formula?

“I didn’t fail. I just found 10,000 ways on how not to make a light-bulb.”

~Thomas Edison

Simple determination and a Dream of being something, others told them they were not, these nonconformists redefined the boundaries for the majority. One very big secret is they never told anyone their ideas until they were accomplished.

“Only those who can see the invisible can do the impossible.”

~Albert Einstein

In Tae Kwon Do basic tenets are taught: Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverance, self-control, indomitable spirit. While all are noble, the greatest of these is indomitable spirit. Indomitable Spirit is the ability to go beyond when everyone else stops at the false boundaries established by the majority. Indomitable Spirit is a summary of the other 4 tenets.

Stepping into the Canvas with an Indomitable Spirit. Knowing that my words shared with  others can have a lasting effect on my goals, thereby allowing silence to lead the way until goals are met. Through perseverance and integrity, self-control and courtesy, we can harmoniously mingle with the majority while maintaining spirit. While the Pilgrim believes in the boundaries established by others, the Warrior breaks these boundaries…and redefines them for the rest.

The Pilgrim calls on others to aid, when the Warrior calls on His Creator…

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13

On The Road

Stuck at a dead-end with nowhere to turn? Have no idea where you are going? Do any of us really no where we are going? Not really, but we think we are. We can choose to sit in misery or we can sit in contemplation, contemplating our next steps. While sitting quietly, allowing the answers to flow, something happens and you find yourself on the road once more.

It is in our quiet times we find the answers. During our quiet moments we find our thoughts pairing with source energy. Abraham Hicks speaks, “When we align ourselves with Source Energy, we cut all boundaries and apply our thoughts to action.”

“Watch you thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.~Frank Outlaw

Sometimes, when our thoughts seem to be absent, it is better to just hit the road and enjoy what life has to offer. Today I travel to Lambeau Field with my Father-In-Law. While I wish I could stay home to write, my gut says to go and have a good time…”forgive me for what I am about to do!” There will be a lot of drinking and other negativity around me, but I will stay at peace with myself and whom I have become. Not having to partake in the drinking, freedom is mine. Today I will merely see all there is…enjoying all the Canvas has to offer.

Stepping into the Canvas enjoying every aspect. While surrounded by lost pilgrims, the Warrior remains true to the cause. The world appears to fall to suffering, but the Warrior sees a different painting before him. With eyes of compassion,  aligned with his source…giving him eyes of truth.

Giving My All

Giving my all

Nothing in return.

Loving all

No love in return.

Lending a hand

No hand in return.

Emptiness fills my soul;

Thought it was gone, but returned.

Man turns his back on the world

Not knowing why.

Burying the talents

None to see.

Pondering this lesson,

Wondering if I will be he.

Not a chance,

For I will rise.

Rising from this slump

Helping once again.

Be still

Do what is needed.

Your reward is soon to come.

Give your all

Until final hour.

Feeling proud

Do your  best.

Stay  slumped

Best is no longer.

Rise

Overcoming sadness.

Change your thought

Snap

Everything has changed.

A Work in Progress

Have you ever wanted to do something in your life, but didn’t know where to begin? or possibly afraid of stepping out of the comfort zone? We all have this burning desire to do something that makes an impact in our lives. Some are fortunate to live the dream at any early age, but for many they will die without ever playing their music. Wayne Dyer often speaks, “Don’t Die with your Music still in you.”

It is my turn. Not knowing where I am going with this, I take the first steps. Feeling naked and vulnerable I move forward into the unknown. Most people do their due diligence and take years to research without ever lifting a finger towards their dream. Equipped with only the basics, I proceed forward…living the Dream.

Often times we set out on task not knowing the direction , but we have a result in mind…ever wonder in awe about how it got finished? When we establish the end result, the details automatically get filled in. The details are not necessarily filled in by our own works. See the end result but then trust that Universe will take care of the details…she always does.

I hope the writings on this blog inspire many, spark fire within others and help those lost be found once more. The messages will be raw and unfiltered (for now) and will grow into something that which I have not figured out. Waves of Gratitude and Love is sent to those who support me on my journey of life….and so it begins.

With only an idea in my back pocket and an intent in my Heart I set out on a journey of a lifetime, dropping seeds of Hope, Love and Peace…for I am a work in progress.

The Quarterback

I am the Quarterback of a great team;

creating magic up and down the field.

I am the play-maker and do it with ease;

calling plays and putting them to action.

 

I am the captain of this team;

proud to say that I am not perfect.

For I make plays both good and bad;

Occasionally a turnover or two.

Whether I am up or down,

Down and out,

Stand strong.

 

My front line may not hold the defensive tackle;

My center may drop the ball.

None of that matters,

For I am the Quarterback of this team.

I am the one who raises hope of winning the big game,

And cannot afford to get angry or sad.

Win or lose, I must know that I did my best;

My best in showing others how to enjoy the game.

 

Is it better to scream and holler at the team;

Or praise them and encourage them?

It is fourth and ten, with fifteen seconds remaining.

We are down by six, and an opportunity to score;

I could give up and give into the beatings endured.

For it is seventy yards to the finish line and I cannot give up.

This game throws me everything it has;

calling an audible.

 

I can choose to give up or fight on;

I choose the latter of the two.

For I am the quarterback and cannot afford to take a knee.