About 11 years ago, when life turned upside down…not knowing what was real or who I was, I began searching for answers. Answers of who I am, where I am going and what is to become of my reality. My reality was not all that bleak, but filled with anger, fear and blindness.
When I first heard the words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, I ignored them. Hearing them again, I could not ignore the message infusing into my reality, in which would change course of life forever: “When you change the way you look at things, things you look at change.”
If it were not for a friend in need, and a burning desire to help another, I may not have unlocked the door to infinite possibilities. A funny characteristic of humans is that we cannot see beyond the tip of our nose. When given suggestions of change, we boldly state “I’m good.” For me…this was so true.
I was working as a Manager of a Cancer Program at the time, managing rental properties and trying to maintain a happy household. With children on the way, less sleep…anger and fear became an intricate part of my day. Then one day, hearing Wayne’s words once again…something happened. I realized that life is too short to work our knuckles to the bone and too short to lose sight of having happiness as our reality.
“Sell you cleverness, purchase bewilderment.”~Rumi
Sell everything I did!
Caution: selling everything does not mean living in poverty, but means we have defined what necessity to sustaining a fruitful life…this was the beginning to self-actualization.
Self-actualized do not subscribe to messages of obtaining more, for more is less in many cases. Identifying with self, self-actualized begin redefining reality as they see fit. Having money is not poisonous unless it becomes an obsession…self-actualized are no longer willing to drink of this poison.
It was through shadows of past, that Light began to shine through. Through my own shadows and restless nights of sleep, I was guided into the brightness of my days. My life, filled with anger and fear, yielding nightmares, insomnia and thoughts of more hate towards self and fellow-man. It was not until later the pieces to this great puzzle of life would come to an understanding. Through my understanding, I now shall gift it to you.
It is often stated if we live in fear, or in the flesh, we confine ourselves into that reality before us. Minimizing our possibilities to our beliefs, we remain trapped in the misery of our days. Changing our direction and gaze to the unknown, we expand our consciousness and the boundaries within our reality. Religion is a great tool for obtaining the keys to the unknown, but misused it traps us in a Hell which most see as paradise. Hell is not paradise…unless you like it hot…I would prefer somewhere else…like Florida or South America. If it is going to be hot, I would much rather be happy and hot…not miserable, afraid and burning up.
Before my shift in consciousness, nightmares and insomnia prevailed with peace taking a back seat. Bringing Peace and Love into my days, the nights began to mirroring the days. Studying my dreams, if I slept, seeing a common theme changing within my days. Our dream world will direct us in our true path of the day. The dream world will direct us into the places we must go. Often scary and shocking but assuredly our subconscious is begging for our attention.
In following the path of our shadows, unearthing more fear and hate, we risk unearthing something greater…Love. Through personal Darkness, we find Light. Letting go of what we thought was real, we open our eyes to an abyss of unknown…opening the eyes of spirit.
“To see through the eyes of flesh, our view is short and narrow; through the eyes of spirit, vast and infinite.”~Ani Po
So this begins a modern day heroes journey. One of risk, one of letting go, one of changing realities. It is my hope that the reader connects with the pages of self and applies to their personal lives. There is a common theme amongst all heroes before you…once we declare our purpose and intentions within the Canvas of Life, dormant forces come alive. In the beginning dual forces or opposing sides will try to convince you to retreat to past realities. I encourage you to press on. As you do, the journey and understanding begins easier and easier…until the fantasy comes alive!
Stepping into the Canvas is about each and every person finding their place in the world and seeing it with awe and wonder on a daily basis. To see the Canvas of Life with fresh new eyes, we must let go of old beliefs and ways that no longer serve us. This is the first step. Then moment by moment we arrive in a place of not knowing and knowing all at the same time. Selling cleverness, we create a new sense that all is good…each and every day…
It was brought to my attention today, I have yet to write a book. Knowing that the book is already there, something keeps me from writing…setting a stage for my own steps into the Canvas of Life.
Well versed in my own words, I still remain frozen in fear of what might be. Turns out that I am just like many humans who have a dream, failing to move forward in their dreams. I often write about stepping into the canvas, but fail to hear the wisdom. Does this happen to you? Do you often give advice to others only to hear your own words regurgitated back to you?
It is a common trait of being human I guess. One of looking to others for self acceptance, by telling them what ‘they’ should do. I have learned that it is not my place to tell them what to do, but give choices so they may make up their own damn minds. Giving choices to another, is as if I am accepting myself for who I have come to be. Knowing this, I must move forward…but something remains clear…I am holding ‘me’ back.
Today, while meeting a friend at her studio Healing Hearts Center, in Lake Geneva, Stacy allowed me to enter a sacred space of spirit. I should have known something bigger was about to happen, when an Eagle swooped down in front of my vehicle, as if trying to get my attention. My first thought was that Spirit was flying with me…but later realized that Spirit was about to speak through and towards me.
I arrived at Stacy’s studio with the intention of painting my first ‘real’ canvas, but knew deep down how spirit operates…hiding a deeper meaning within our encounters.
As I began painting, with coaching of Stacy, I witnessed layer upon layer unfold, as I peeled back the onion of my soul. Layer upon layer, it was presented upon the Canvas of my own Life.
Again, I reflect on past writings as I skirted my own journey. Not in a sense of my own dealings of, but the details and intricacies of the lessons. I left so much meaning out of the lessons in fear that it may be to controversial or it may offend some other person. The truth of the matter is this…just as the reality of my painting unfolding, my own reality does exist. As my reality is my own, so is your own personal story. When God speaks to me, I am afraid to tell people…for those who say God does not speak or even the blasphemy of such an idea. My skirting the details was apparent and it is time to move forward.
I will not wonder how my time will permit my writing or editing of the book, but instead I will ask that time present itself to embrace the potentiality of my visions. The wording is critical, as my own fears can attract more reasons as to not write the book. Being a father and a husband, with my responsibilities, I will need to juggle yet again. I know that it will work in my favor and pen to paper shall begin.
So what am I to write? This is a common question for many who embark on their own journey of telling their story. My intentions, however, are not to hear my own story or toot my own horn…instead they are meant to assist others in getting through their own dilemmas of life.
Our stories are so intimate to the self, but putting them in writing we run the risk of being vulnerable. Through my nine years of searching I have come to many conclusions…one of them being…in our own vulnerabilities, we find our own strengths. Even in our own appearance of being vulnerable, we stand firmly in our own strength. Five years ago, my father expressed his concern, “I am afraid you have lost your edge and you are losing sight of your own reality.” My response then and still today, “What may appear to be losing my edge, I am merely sharpening my skills and both sides to my sword. That sword being the sword of truth.”
When I first sat down to paint today, I had no idea what I was going to paint. As the strokes and colors began taking shape, we witnessed the layers of my life unfolding onto the canvas. I am at the focal point of my own Canvas, surrounding myself with many teachers, comprising of family and friends. No longer listening to the negativity of others or the nay-Sayers of life, the voice of All Creation began to speak through me. Surrounding myself with positive people, taking baby-steps forward, my life began taking leaps and bounds through various shifts within my own life. This is the same process that all people, past and present, have gone through…I am no different then they.
It is through our own trusting, that all will be good, our lives take a turn for the greater good. On a personal level everything seems to be great, but on a global level…things just seem to be brighter all around. As within, so without. Our own personal transformations do in fact change the way we see the world. While the suffering still exists in the world, we are more accepting of the suffering. As without, so within. On a personal level…we embrace our own shadows of the nights, only to emerge in the brightest of days.
Today’s painting was monumental to say the least, for it was written back in my thought process when I was twelve years old. Never really understood the meaning behind my dreams, but knew that one day I would write and paint a brighter day…and there forward. Do you have a dream? Did you ever have a dream when you were younger, but do not have any idea how to get there? Start asking how this shall come to fruition and it shall be so. In asking we align ourselves with a higher power, that is available to all, presenting more opportunities to make our dreams come true.
Today, and this day forward, we have the ability to live it as we have chosen it to be. Listen to our old ways of ‘that can’t be done’ and we shall hit that mark every time. Change our directions to that of ‘I will’ and ‘I can’ it shall be so. Today is the day we step confidently in a new direction…a direction of wonder and awe!
Sitting in sacred space of writing, I reflect on my sacred space of life. returning to this sacred space of life, I enter a world of sacredness. It is in this sacred space that all presents itself for our greater good, on a singular level and a global level. For what we do for the self, we do for all humanity. When we find ourselves, we find the answers to all there is.
A teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.~Khalil Gibran
Stepping into the Canvas right on time. For it is in this very moment in time that our lives take the turn for our greater good, if we see it as so. If we question it, we shall remain in an abyss of what if or what will be. Stay the course, trusting the process of life…as we begin stepping towards brighter days…in doing so…All is Good.