Death of the Father


Death of the Father

Radical Acceptance Returns

flip-of-the coin generated by CGDreams

Perceptually different are the varying thoughts of how it used to be. One-sided is the stories tale — giving a young lad everything they needed, being there for every turn as the car rolled off the highway.

A flip of the coin — tales are telling of another side. Absent was the one leaving a child alone with a flame and combustibles — swallowed temperament as volatile as the burning winds.

A flip of the coin — leaving knives as sharp as a sword — severing thumbs and tearing into the flesh of past chapters of broken wings. Then to comfort the wounded soul with fiery winds of burning words cutting through to silenced dreams — left alone was the young one, mastering the elements of Shangri-la.

Recounting the time — entering the skeleton-filled closet of forbidden truths — mastering the art of fabricated twisted stories. One after the other — lie to cover up the one before — just as the one taught. And it made him fucking proud.

Vomiting regurgitated thought — sharing to this page — as guilt and fear bring us back to broken arms. Not shocked — opening the Webster defining words — there at the center of the narcissism was a picture of the one.

Alone is the one — by his own doing — with greatest fear of coming to fruition. He remains alone — rotting in his flesh of misery — buried in his life of lies and sworn to take them to the grave.

Fleeing time — ticking clock — stubborn is the one wrapped in these words: “They’re dead to me.” Now, with two remaining, the one chases one of them out of the house of Ivan Illych — last breath emanant as the pain in Tolstoy’s chest greatens with heart-breaking thoughts of how it could have been.

The end is near — time will tell — uncertain are the children of the one who taught them how not to be — greater are they for learning how to be. Trapped forever — pain and suffering as the mystery of misery pools in a toxic wasteland.

One last flip of the coin , knowing it was a twisted tale , absent as it was. Merely a donor — a provider — doing his best as selfishly as one could. Yes, his heart was as big as the sun , hidden behind the ash of burning wildfires — started in the closets, hidden truths.

Radical Acceptance — all that remains.

~Ani Po


The One returns to the story — day after day — on a loop recorder, wishing for the torment to end — while my heart melts into Radical Acceptance of this person who doesn’t know how to be.

Sealing this wounded heart with tears flooding broken timelines — this chapter is closed — a flip of the coin.


Thank you Wry Welwood for sharing this prompt. Yes, it was something needing to come out. Much gratitude for Scrittura.

Much gratitude for those who take time to read, ponder, and allow the inner workings of self to come forward. Grateful for the feedback, love shared, and, more importantly, the Dance with Inspiration. Deep Peace.

Joseph Lieungh

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash

Re-Tracing my Steps


Re-Tracing my Steps

Connecting with the source

Photo by Bruno Luz on Unsplash

I Should have seen the signs — blown tire on the way to Fisheye — staggered by the desire to reach Master status. Only four more dives — after the next — On the eve of risen book stories of death and dying.

Last two underwater connections — first of the five black tips — last tip taking closer look. Last dive — the crown of thorns placed upon my head — thankfully not on the poisonous hand to the emergency room — riding dreams never making it to our destination.

A day and a half passed by — numbing cheek as if sitting too long — left lower, collapsing with pins and needles. Bent as the roller-coaster rails — so too, the air in the vessels blocking the site around the bend.

Stroked out — hemi-paralysis — collapsing consciously to the floor of the sixth. Kay encouraging me to speak — Miss Susie sells seashells by the seashore — I couldn’t say it then, sober, or any other condition.

Emergency room — robodoc — cat scan contrasting TPA. Intensive care — from one to the next — now checked in as Unknown Tango. Dive team — led by Dr. Nemo and first mate — interviews with the strangest of maneuvered requests. We need to get you in the tank now.

Six hours later — rigorous neuro-testing — 100% oxygen saturation at a depth allowing nitrogen’s gentle escape. Tipping the saturation of oxygen toxicity — assuring all nitrogen has evacuated.

Returning to the last line — previously in Black Tip, White Tip — four weeks of healing remain. Puzzle pieces floating about — seeing the past months before — more signs of something more.

Bent
Stroke
Chamber
Recovery

Petechiae Rash
Tracing steps
Feeling off for some time
Leading up to the event

Doctors visits
Primary
Neurologist
Cardiologist

Blood tests
inconclusive
Rheumatologist
Immunologist

Dead end
More medications
Handed out like candy to little children
Helpless

Primary bows out
No other recommendations
I need help!
My body is not right

Pause

Time for a re-write
Time to re-trace my steps
Get to the source
Connect with the source

Blurred vision
re-connect
Clean the lens
Connecting with source

Calls of the wind
Screeching raptors
Courtship bound
Connecting source

Sitting with
Long enough
Learning what was needed
Source

Healed

~Ani Po

Photo by Ai Nhan on Unsplash

Much gratitude for those who take time to read, ponder, and allow the inner workings of self to come forward. Grateful for the feedback, love shared, and, more importantly, the Dance with Inspiration. Deep Peace.

Joseph Lieungh

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash