Forgiveness

Forgiveness is often discussed but rarely observed. It is singular or plural. True forgiveness is accepting that we are not perfect and we make mistakes. It may have a different name: self-forgiveness or forgiving another being. We can be asked to be forgiven or we can ask for forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that ahs crushed it.” Mark Twain

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Ghandi

The Bible says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13).” Recently confronting someone on this matter, they just made excuses not forgiving them, “Oh, I can’t. If you knew what they did to me you couldn’t either.” Asking this same person why they don’t try, they come up with another excuse “because nobody’s perfect and we all fall short.”  While this is true we are not perfect this does not mean we couldn’t try to be more Christ-like. It is my humble opinion that most feel there is no use in trying because there is no physical evidence they will be “saved,” but rely heavily on faith. “Trust by Faith, that God will take care of all your worries (Philippians 1:6).”

The Qur’an says, “Hold forgiveness, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant Qur’an 7:199).” Just as the Bible promises God taking care of are worries, the Qur’an makes similar claims, “But if someone is steadfast and forgives, that is the most resolute course to follow (Qur’an 42:43).”

The Bhagavad-Gita says: “Intelligence, knowledge, freedom from doubt and delusion, forgiveness, truthfulness, control of the senses, control of the mind, happiness and distress, birth, death, fear, fearlessness, nonviolence, equanimity, satisfaction, austerity, charity, fame and infamy — all these various qualities of living beings are created by Me alone (Verse 10 4-5).”

Many traditions preach forgiveness but so many remain non-practicing. Why? It is my humble opinion they are shrouded by their own shadow, project it onto others around them. Carl Jung often discussed “The Shadow is the easiest of the archetypes for most persons to experience. We tend to see it in “others.” That is to say, we project our dark side onto others and thus interpret them as “enemies” or as “exotic” presences that fascinate”.

While projecting outwards we find it difficult to forgive the other person as we see their behavior as inexcusable. The truth of the matter is we need only look within for the answer to this dilemma. Carl Jung refers to self-actualized people as being able to let things go, finding it easier to forgive the self and projecting forgiveness onto others.

None of us are perfect so why do we judge people so harshly? Is it up to us to judge them anyways? Or is judgment reserved for an end of days? Regardless of when judgment will come we can choose to forgive not just ourselves, but the people around us. Jesus said it best, “Forgive them Father for they no not what they do.”

The Master of Tea Ceremonies

Have you ever encountered a difficult person? One who just doesn’t see things any other way but theirs? Do you come head to head with someone who is just down-right stubborn? These types of people are what I like to call Master of Tea Ceremonies.  For the Master of the Tea Ceremony has practiced his ways for a lifetime and is unwilling to change his ways.

The Master of Tea Ceremonies will often times lose their patience or temper with any suggestions made. They only see their view as gospel and are unwilling to sway. This trait can serve an individual, but in this instance it only promotes harmful behavior. It is harmful to not just himself but those around him. The negative behavior and the harsh words or attacks can alter another beings life. With any encounter with another good or bad (positive or negative), we have the ability to change who they are. What impact do these types have on us?

While nearly impossible to change the Master of Tea Ceremonies, there is still a slight possibility of allowing them to change. How this is done, is by mere example. It may take 10,000 encounters with that person but eventually they may grasp to a positive word or thought. Then again, there are those who may never get it. Wash your hands of them and move on.

There are only a few options to counter the Master of Tea Ceremonies: enjoy the Tea that is served; offer suggestions to how they serve; or never drink from their establishment again. Being stubborn, one might take repetitive abuse from this Master until one day they throw in the towel or the Master changes his ways. The main lesson is that we learn from the Master and respect his ways.

The Masters Tools

 

 

It is amazing to watch the master of tea ceremonies,

Who has practiced all his life.

He mastered his techniques,

With precision and care.

Enjoys pouring tea,

For others to endure.

As the water boils and whistles a tune,

It signals the time when the master tends his tea.

 

He carefully pours boiling water,

Over tea and herbs.

Steeping to peak perfection,

Is his number one task.

Allowing enough time,

For the proper taste to delight.

It is time to serve his guests,

One saucer at a time.

 

A young man approaches the Master of Tea Ceremonies,

And offers a new way.

The master grunts and groans,

And requests he leave him alone.

He is not interested in making tea faster or better,

Merely perfecting his ways is all he may.

More tea does not interest him,

Neither bigger cups.

For he has perfected his ways,

All his life.

 

Do not take it personal,

Do not dismay.

For the master of the tea ceremony,

Is set in his ways.

You can try to change him and the way he serves,

Ultimately it is he who agrees to change.

You can show him the tea set,

But it is he who has to agree.

To change the ceremony,

To change his ways.