Re-Tracing my Steps


Re-Tracing my Steps

Connecting with the source

Photo by Bruno Luz on Unsplash

I Should have seen the signs — blown tire on the way to Fisheye — staggered by the desire to reach Master status. Only four more dives — after the next — On the eve of risen book stories of death and dying.

Last two underwater connections — first of the five black tips — last tip taking closer look. Last dive — the crown of thorns placed upon my head — thankfully not on the poisonous hand to the emergency room — riding dreams never making it to our destination.

A day and a half passed by — numbing cheek as if sitting too long — left lower, collapsing with pins and needles. Bent as the roller-coaster rails — so too, the air in the vessels blocking the site around the bend.

Stroked out — hemi-paralysis — collapsing consciously to the floor of the sixth. Kay encouraging me to speak — Miss Susie sells seashells by the seashore — I couldn’t say it then, sober, or any other condition.

Emergency room — robodoc — cat scan contrasting TPA. Intensive care — from one to the next — now checked in as Unknown Tango. Dive team — led by Dr. Nemo and first mate — interviews with the strangest of maneuvered requests. We need to get you in the tank now.

Six hours later — rigorous neuro-testing — 100% oxygen saturation at a depth allowing nitrogen’s gentle escape. Tipping the saturation of oxygen toxicity — assuring all nitrogen has evacuated.

Returning to the last line — previously in Black Tip, White Tip — four weeks of healing remain. Puzzle pieces floating about — seeing the past months before — more signs of something more.

Bent
Stroke
Chamber
Recovery

Petechiae Rash
Tracing steps
Feeling off for some time
Leading up to the event

Doctors visits
Primary
Neurologist
Cardiologist

Blood tests
inconclusive
Rheumatologist
Immunologist

Dead end
More medications
Handed out like candy to little children
Helpless

Primary bows out
No other recommendations
I need help!
My body is not right

Pause

Time for a re-write
Time to re-trace my steps
Get to the source
Connect with the source

Blurred vision
re-connect
Clean the lens
Connecting with source

Calls of the wind
Screeching raptors
Courtship bound
Connecting source

Sitting with
Long enough
Learning what was needed
Source

Healed

~Ani Po

Photo by Ai Nhan on Unsplash

Much gratitude for those who take time to read, ponder, and allow the inner workings of self to come forward. Grateful for the feedback, love shared, and, more importantly, the Dance with Inspiration. Deep Peace.

Joseph Lieungh

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash

No Becoming


No Becoming

As Is, We already are

Photo by RKTKN on Unsplash

There is no becoming of anything. We already are.

Our desire to be more, finding a higher purpose — sending us on a journey of sorts. Sifting through our own lives, letting go of pain and suffering — allowing more magical memories to present.

Good or bad, memories transferring joy as we remember the lessons bringing us to this point in time. What was once a flicker in the distance is now an illuminated moment in time. What was sought has now shown its face — present be.

No longer seeking, just knowing — we are here!

~ Ani Po


For years I searched for answers, desperately seeking something greater — only to find that it was already there. Finding oneself was all that was necessary.

This was my mood this past week, just allowing myself to be in a place of not knowing, but simultaneously knowing all that was necessary.


Much gratitude for those who take time to read, ponder, and allow the inner workings of self to come forward. Grateful for the feedback, love shared, and, more importantly, the Dance with Inspiration. Deep Peace.

Joseph Lieungh

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash