Re-Tracing my Steps


Re-Tracing my Steps

Connecting with the source

Photo by Bruno Luz on Unsplash

I Should have seen the signs — blown tire on the way to Fisheye — staggered by the desire to reach Master status. Only four more dives — after the next — On the eve of risen book stories of death and dying.

Last two underwater connections — first of the five black tips — last tip taking closer look. Last dive — the crown of thorns placed upon my head — thankfully not on the poisonous hand to the emergency room — riding dreams never making it to our destination.

A day and a half passed by — numbing cheek as if sitting too long — left lower, collapsing with pins and needles. Bent as the roller-coaster rails — so too, the air in the vessels blocking the site around the bend.

Stroked out — hemi-paralysis — collapsing consciously to the floor of the sixth. Kay encouraging me to speak — Miss Susie sells seashells by the seashore — I couldn’t say it then, sober, or any other condition.

Emergency room — robodoc — cat scan contrasting TPA. Intensive care — from one to the next — now checked in as Unknown Tango. Dive team — led by Dr. Nemo and first mate — interviews with the strangest of maneuvered requests. We need to get you in the tank now.

Six hours later — rigorous neuro-testing — 100% oxygen saturation at a depth allowing nitrogen’s gentle escape. Tipping the saturation of oxygen toxicity — assuring all nitrogen has evacuated.

Returning to the last line — previously in Black Tip, White Tip — four weeks of healing remain. Puzzle pieces floating about — seeing the past months before — more signs of something more.

Bent
Stroke
Chamber
Recovery

Petechiae Rash
Tracing steps
Feeling off for some time
Leading up to the event

Doctors visits
Primary
Neurologist
Cardiologist

Blood tests
inconclusive
Rheumatologist
Immunologist

Dead end
More medications
Handed out like candy to little children
Helpless

Primary bows out
No other recommendations
I need help!
My body is not right

Pause

Time for a re-write
Time to re-trace my steps
Get to the source
Connect with the source

Blurred vision
re-connect
Clean the lens
Connecting with source

Calls of the wind
Screeching raptors
Courtship bound
Connecting source

Sitting with
Long enough
Learning what was needed
Source

Healed

~Ani Po

Photo by Ai Nhan on Unsplash

Much gratitude for those who take time to read, ponder, and allow the inner workings of self to come forward. Grateful for the feedback, love shared, and, more importantly, the Dance with Inspiration. Deep Peace.

Joseph Lieungh

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash

I Can See Clearly Now the Rain Has Gone


I Can See Clearly Now

The rain has gone

Image created with CGDream

“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.” Wait…it is actually raining at this moment. So, how does one see clearly amidst the rain?

Dealing with our own triggers of life, often referred to as shadow work, or trying to understand something at deeper levels, we peel back layers of understanding. Our reality is based on current beliefs and our clarity of life is or is not clouded by thoughts of our current belief system.

Sitting in the rain can be comforting or the opposing, depending on ones own attachment to what is good or bad per se. Wandering mind, leading to what we cannot do or lack of sun…fearing that we cannot survive in this very moment, we are left in a gloomy state of being.

Some might say the rain can effect ones own psyche, triggering moodiness or gloominess. Maybe this is true? Or maybe it is a reflection of ones own belief system? There is data that suggests that the weather can effect ones mood, while other data suggests it is merely a mirroring effect: what a person thinks or feels is what the experience may be.

Is there also a possibility of a collective consciousness happening? Meaning…a region attracts certain thoughts, while everyone is influenced by these thoughts. Every moment of the day is regulated by these collective thoughts. Even weather patterns can reflect these thoughts.

A thousand people meditating on Love or Peace, collectively changing the present moment of fear based thought process. Mastering ones own thoughts, collectively contributing to ‘The Field’ of consciousness, potentially altering or enhancing the collective whole.

What about a belief that another has? Whether religious, spiritual, political, everyday events. How can one be on the same page as another? Willingness or openness to accepting another path on this road of life. Many roads leading to similar destination, whether one sees this or not it is true. We are all heading in the same direction. But where does this path lead? That is another time and discussion.

For now…our understanding is what it is. Today, we sat pondering within the rain…only to have a foreign idea, from years past, come to understanding with deeper ‘knowing’ of things.

Our willingness to be present, allowing varying beliefs to surface, practicing non-attachment to ‘All’ things, accepting The Great Mystery of it all, we come to a place of deeper clarity…singing, “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.”


Like a roller-coaster, up and down weathered extremes — frost returns, thawing realities existence with pouring rains during an unseasonable timing of thought.

Gloomy days enter realities mirrored reflections, introducing multiple universal thoughts given way to what may be. Short is the shadow of a doubt, entering bright shiny days — evacuating again with threats of frozen tundra’s grip.

Bundled up — warming by fireside chatter’s inner dialogue — we are holding sacred space. New beginnings promise — swiftly come — not soon enough, we hold onto springtime’s budding birth of another passing year.

~ Ani Po


Much gratitude for those who take time to read, ponder, and allow the inner workings of self to come forward. Grateful for the feedback, love shared, and, more importantly, the Dance with Inspiration. Deep Peace.

Joseph Lieungh

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash