Remaining Calm During the Storm

We all have moments where we escape to somewhere else, in hopes of finding tranquility, but lose the battle in finding peace. Some however have found peace even during difficult times. How does one deal with their own stress? How does one deflect the misery of another?

When we have a ‘bad day’ three options present: 1) stay miserable, continuing to attract more anger; 2) ignore the stressors in hopes that it will pass, potentially attracting more anger; 3) walk away, centering the self in breathing. Sounds pretty easy, but for many it is not while  conditioned to remain in misery…this is their reality.

Do we have to stay in our own reality of self-inflicted misery? What about others who create misery for us? Whether it is self-inflicted or brought on by another’s actions, we can change our response. For the self-inflicted pain we have option two or three, with the preferred method being number three. Stress implemented by actions of another can be more difficult to handle, as we are often in disbelief of their thoughtless actions…Really?!

Yesterday, an angry person who creates friction when he speaks quickly changed the tone of our day. With a pre-conceived notion of ignoring the person today, he came to me and apologized. In this case I chose option two and ignored him, in hopes that it will pass…whew! Next time I will be better at dealing with another person’s anger. Lesson learned! What if he had not apologized? By my ignoring him further, this would only create more tension between us. By not apologizing to me, two options then present: let it go or tell him how I felt. Thankfully he apologized and we didn’t have to cross that road.

The gentleman was ‘tired’ of going through Radiation Treatments. As many patients experience fear of their last treatments and the unknown, they express fear in their own way. His was through anger.

Remaining calm and instilling peace as a common ground, I established a new reality for him. His guilt came back to haunt him. Causing guilt, he apologized for his behavior. Again I say…whew!

How do you handle difficult people? Is it proper to return the anger? Returning anger only creates more anger. We are not defined by our actions, but define by how we deal with others during their difficult times and our own difficulties.

While the Pilgrim takes thing personally reacting from anger, only finding more anger. The Warrior allows others to express their emotions without absorption of anger, remaining in harmony with himself and the collective whole.

Stepping into the canvas identifying many colors of the rainbow, we have the ability to avoid misery brought out by a storm. Remaining calm we find ourselves instinctively wanting to dance in the rain.

The Average Joe

Being comfortable with one’s own skin can be a challenge. A person either chooses greatness or chooses the path of an average Joe. The average Joe doesn’t subscribe to over achievement or settle for mediocrity. Instead we will find him blending in with majority.

This posting was inspired by local public radio host Ben Merens and his guest David Martin. At Issue with Ben Merens invited David Martin to discuss his bi-weekly humor column and latest book Dare to Be Average.

David opens, “many will not become super stars and it’s ok to be average.” I wanted to call in and ask him, “doesn’t deciding that you are going to stay average therefore place you in a class of above average?” It is my opinion that by stating and accepting average, self-realization thereby makes you above average through not following others whom pressure thinking of greatness. The self-actualized are happy wherever they choose to be. Personally I do not think any one person is average, as we all have are own hidden talents. We simply choose to use them or we don’t.

While the Pilgrims worry about whether they are making the grade or justing getting by and whether the choice is good or bad, the Warrior does not worry about greatness or being average. He merely does what is in his heart, following his dreams and leaving the details for the Universe to fill in. The self-actualized warrior does not worry about pleasing anyone but himself.

Sounds pretty selfish doesn’t it? While many see the warrior as selfish, only worrying about himself, they fail to see the virtuous acts performed on a daily basis: Random acts of kindness, selfless giving of his time and unconditional Love for humanity.  It is through giving that he receives.

Stepping into the Canvas daring to be average, we unknowingly place ourselves into a group of self-mastery. Whether a superstar in the spotlight or an average Joe under the radar, there never really is such a thing as being average. Every person is unique in their own way and every person has a choice to be who they want. Whatever the choice…they are who they are…and have a choice to be whomever they choose…